Love Dating & Marriage God’s way
The Bible describes a marriage in an unexpected way, two separate beings becoming one flesh. Let’s take a look at this passage in the Message translation.
MSG 1 Cor 6;16-20 Two Becoming One
16There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” 17Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever–the kind of sex that can never “become one.” 18There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. 19Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. 20God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
We must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy. It will leave us more lonely than ever. Whenever we don’t honor the spiritual mystery side of sex, the two becoming one part, we violate the sacredness of our own bodies. Our body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit. We can’t squander what God paid such a high price for!
God’s Holy Spirit can’t make his home in a place that is not sacred, not God honoring.
When we were growing up, we could not hide from this two becoming one aspect of relationships. Even break-ups in relationships without sex can tear away and damage our souls. Regular boyfriend girlfriend relationships have a bit of this soul merging. I t ink that’s why break-ups hurt so much. I think a part of our soul was lost [torn away] each time we went through a break up.
So how are unmarried folk supposed to negotiate this mine field of dating. I’ve seen 6 biblical steps that we should take.
Step 1; Keeping Biblical Priorities;Keep God first, and don’t forget to still honor your mom & dad. God tells us sex is only for marriage. I pray that the faith of believers is strong enough to just take God’s word on this.
KJV Deu 5;16-20 Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. 17 Thou shalt not kill. 18 Neither shalt thou commit adultery. 19 Neither shalt thou steal. 20 Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbour.
MKJV Deu 25;21 And you shall not lust after your neighbor’s wife , nor shall you covet your neighbor’s house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is your neighbor’s.
But you might say this is the old Law, & Jesus freed us from the Law Code. So Lets look at what Jesus says;
Matt 5;27-30 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your eye—even your good eye —causes you to lust , gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your hand—even your stronger hand —causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.
I think Jesus is simply telling single folks to try to wait, don’t fall into lust. God’s purpose for lust is found in the marriage bed. When we ignore this teaching we allow the enemy to advance.
NLT 1 Cor 7;8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.
MKJV Heb 13;4 Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
MSG Heb 13;4 Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.
So what are the roles – the different aspects of ‘one flesh’? I think understanding this will provide us some guidance in our assignment of becoming one with our spouse. Flesh usually means ‘Worldly Desires’ so the most direct way to interpret this is: to talk out, to work out, and fully agree on the Stuff of this World, What the marriage will aspire to.
1. Can be relied upon to just accept the way things are, and carry out their roles – no wining or slouching
2. Relies on its surroundings for survival for sustenance and for growth. Flesh will literally die if separated from its surroundings. We see some divorces where one spouse never recovers his (or her) vigor, his lust for life. I actually think that God wants us to have that kind of commitment. Not necessarily after the marriage dies, but while it is still alive. We should just accept that our environment is God’s place for us – carry our cross, do our job, persevere through trials, serve, give and love right from where we are – from where God put us.
3. Thrives together as one when we do whatever we can to help our spouse thrive
4. Suffers together as one, doing whatever we can to avert, minimize or just support each other through times of suffering
5. Advances (or retreats) together, it’s OK for one to take the lead and the other to support them, but we should not forge ever forward and leave our mate struggling far behind. In that case we need to drop back, regroup, and reposition so we can advance together.
Help the Married readers to follow your word, to keep Biblical priorities, to keep you first, to become one flesh,to accept the way things are, and carry out our roles, to rely on our surroundings [you spirit] for survival for sustenance and for growth, to thrive together as one, to suffer together as one, and to advance (or retreats) together. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.